Tonight Brennan had a hard time falling asleep and would cry for me to come into the room; each time I did, he flashed a big smile, got up on his hands and knees and everything on his face shouted, "Hi Mama, it's play time!" I decided to lay on the bed next to him and pretend that I was asleep, hoping that might signal to him that it's "night night time, time to go to sleep." It was amazing just watching him play quietly, content knowing that I was there, and watching him 'practice' waving, repeatedly getting up on his hands and knees, and use his one hand to try to pull himself up on the crib (I think I might have gasped here when I saw him do that...two hands is just around the corner). After about 10 minutes of this, he wriggled around until he found a comfortable spot, repositioned his lovie under his head (he must have done this at least 8 different times), and drifted off to sleep. Watching your baby sleep is one of the sweetest moments I can think of...watching his little body heave up and down with each breath. I'm in awe of our lil man and can't believe how fast he is growing up.
I just read this on another blog this evening and thought it fit my mood tonight:
Before I was a Mom
Author-Unknown
Before I was a Mom I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom - I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put them down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom - I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.
Before I was a Mom - I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never know the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.
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